4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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