I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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