dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
