If that was your dad, he is hot
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
