just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
