Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize