either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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