That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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