well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
