It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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