this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
