no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
