drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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