Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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