Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
