Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
