i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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