All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
