Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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