They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
