I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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