real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm going to jail i love you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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