YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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