You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Duck Duck Cougar?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
