im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
