On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
