Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
