It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
