She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
