this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
