Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
