your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
