I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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