I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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