living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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