He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize