I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize