yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
