Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
