The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
