I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My bed smells like the plague
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
