A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
