just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got inside last night via doggy door
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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