i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
