oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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