hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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