man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize