It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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