his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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