I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
