there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
