I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
