just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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