she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You ruined the universe
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
