Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didn't notice because vodka
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
