She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
