she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
