a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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