I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
