I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
